Viva La Vida

killerforhire @ 2010-01-07T21:38:00

2010-01-08T05:38:52Z

killerforhire @ 2010-01-01T16:49:00

2010-01-02T00:49:29Z

I have a habit of making friends with the most ridiculous examples of the male sex of the human species. I should've been born a gay man.

First meal of the new year, fuck yeah.

killerforhire @ 2009-12-28T22:55:00

2009-12-29T06:55:45Z

My parents support my effort to obtain dual citizenship. So, hopefully, by the end of 2010 I will be a citizen of both the United States of America and Nicaragua. Let's dance.

killerforhire @ 2009-12-24T23:40:00

2009-12-25T07:40:12Z

We dicked around in Echo Park.

Went to Bob's Big Boy in Burbank.

Realized that I can no longer pull off my orange dress. FUCK YOU, WEIGHT LOSS. No, not really, but I wish I could look good in my orange dress again.

Pizza place in San Diego at one in the AM!

Went to the jankiest places ever.

Oh, hello, Boss.

I love my friends.

So much.

killerforhire @ 2009-12-22T10:47:00

2009-12-22T18:47:19Z

Ken flew in on Friday and all we did was wander around Echo Park, Silverlake and Hollywood. Then we went to Bob's Big Boy at one in the morning. On Saturday we drove down to San Diego. We checked into the Hampton Inn. Our hotel had a weird smell upon coming in but it would disappear fast. I got all dressed up for Lady Gaga. I wore my orange dress BUT it doesn't look nearly as good as it did in September. I've lost too much weight for it to look tailored and fitted to my body. It just looked big. I had war paint on my face, hahaha. I met up with Adrianna Whitehead in line where I learned the term "janky". I was DEAD CENTER IN THE PIT for Gaga. She kept saying "HELLO, SAN JOSE!" and it was LOL. Ken and I just had to hug tightly when she said that. We went to the show where she fucked up! Hahaha. The show was amazing. She truly is one of the most talented people on Earth right now. I made the mistake of wearing heels so I was stumbling all the way back to the hotel. These cholos walked past us and said "Damn, that girl looks wasted." When we got back to the hotel room we decided to go out at 1 in the morning and get some pizza. We drove to this pizza place across the street from a strip club and it was lol. We also drove by a liquor store so Ken could get some beer. We went to the hotel room and ate greasy ass pizza while Ken slammed down a few Coors. He's an annoying drunk. On Sunday we found out Brittany Murphy died as I was driving past Camp Pendleton. We were like WTF? and called Joan to confirm. We went to ESPN Zone at L.A. Live to watch the first of the Laker game. We raced home during half time and got there in time to see the entire fourth quarter. We found a discount theatre in Simi Valley and watched Capitalism: A Love Story for four bucks. It wasn't worth four bucks. On Monday we drove to Marina Del Rey to sell Ken's L.A. Lady Gaga ticket but the guy who was supposed to buy it never showed up. I met Ken's sister at LAX after that. They are exactly alike. I get the Flacks now. Then we met up with my friend Justin, plane spotted at In N Out, went back to Torrance and played Scrabble while they drank Miller Lite. I relunctantly said good-bye to Ken at the airport ;____;. I HAULED ASS on the freeway after that, parked my car at Universal City station, and took public transit to L.A. Live to see Lady Gaga AGAIN with the ticket Ken wasn't able to sell. It was an amazing show. Then I got home at one in the morning.

killerforhire @ 2009-12-19T10:26:00

2009-12-19T18:26:27Z

So Ken is right next to me writing his last assignment for the semester. Lmao, he's finishing his first semester as a grad student.

We're going to see Lady Gaga in San Diego tonight.

killerforhire @ 2009-12-14T22:29:00

2009-12-15T06:29:23Z

My first staff party was today. The Neighbourhood and Community Services division had lunch at Jillians. We bowled for a couple of hours. I got a Twilight poster lmao.

Ken on Friday. Gaga on Saturday. Who knows the rest of the year.

Crazy guy who jumped into your(or friends) car on Franklin blvd 12/3 -(Between Normandie & Vermont)

2009-12-06T07:54:07Z

While walking to the bar Thursday (12/3) I happened to run across a "Lovers Quarrel" going on. On Franklin Blvd between Normandie and Vermont a couple was arguing, the woman crying out for someone to call 9-1-1. A female jogger, and myself happened to be walking by at the same time and stopped. The couple arguing both started to plead their case on why the other was crazy, and they deserved the baby the female was holding. Assuming it was a drunken argument we continued to walk our seperate ways. I, west, her, east. After getting a block away I decided to call the situation into the police department, so at the very least I would feel like the child was safe..... During the phone call to the police I looked back to see the Male from the argument running full force at me and screaming he was "going to kill you!(me)". I bolted, all the while having a 9-1-1 operator listening in... I was sober, and the guy chasing me wasn't, so he had super human powers and caught up with the quickness. Rather than take a wicked huge shit kicking, I ran into on coming traffic, and "juked" him with a move I watched Dante Hall perfect running back punts. I managed to get a little bit of separation, and in a moment of desperation jumped into a complete strangers back seat of a car and screamed "DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE!".

The couple took off before I could even safely get in the car, all the while screaming theirselves "Get the fuck out of the car!" ( I honestly thought they were yelling at the crazy guy....) so in some sort of move out of a movie, I managed to double step and pump my legs, therefore thrusting me into their backseat, at which time I realized they weren't on my side either. The couple thought I was just some crazy kid jumping in their car, and didn't realize I was running for my life (realistically this guy probably wouldn't have killed me, but rather just beat the fuck out of me). They proceeded to drive me a couple blocks, all the while screaming at me to get out, all the while me screaming my situation, all the while some 9-1-1 operator was listening to a frantic call....... Story ends there. I got out, ran into another "strangers" apartment and called and reported it to the police.

There wasn't much they could do, considering I got away unharmed.

Heres my thing.... I want to find that couple, who's night I completely threw a monkey wrench into. I want to apologize and offer a cold beer for the both of them.

While it might have been scary to have a random guy jump in your back seat screaming, I can assure you the terror I had in my mind that I was about to face, was much larger!

If you, or anyone you know has a friend that is connected to this story, please email me....

Unless you're the crazy guy chasing me threatening to kill me, in which case I would appreciate it if you didn't ever kill me. Understandably you were mad at me, but killing me is very counterproductive to both of us. I have shit I need to do next week.

-Thank you

Writer's Block: Reminiscing about the Internet

2009-12-03T16:29:14Z

Do you remember the things you did when you first started using the Web and how it has changed your life?

Sponsored by Yahoo!

View 313 Answers

Lmao, the first thing I did was look up everything Sailor Moon. I was nine at the time. I still look up everything Sailor Moon.

killerforhire @ 2009-11-30T19:17:00

2009-12-01T03:17:11Z

I just realized I didn't post any pictures of how beautiful Miami is. So here's a picspam.

Miami Airport is extremely busy

This was Fidel Castro's house when he lived in Miami. It is now the pinnacle of capitalism.

These are the very steps in which Gianni Versace's blood was spilled.

The University of Miami is beautiful and I want to complete my undergrad there.

This was the night I met a gay Cuban and didn't come back until 4 in the morning. Bars in Miami are the shit because they let me in.

South Beach is beautiful.

They're very creative in Miami.

Downtown Miami is the shit.

Especially at night.

I think I want my next trip to be Tijuana. We'll see.

killerforhire @ 2009-11-28T01:00:00

2009-11-28T09:00:35Z

SHIT. SHIT.

WHY DID I DO THE BACK PAT?

AH, FUCK HUGS.

killerforhire @ 2009-11-23T23:58:00

2009-11-24T07:58:32Z

Back in Los Angeles.

I'm listening to Drake right now. A part of me still can't get over the fact that this is Jimmy from Degrassi. But then I remember how fucking good this shit is.

Juliane and Joan are in Chicago this week.

Urban planners. Urban planners. Urban planners.

Ken and I are going to San Diego in December for Lady GaGa.

I think my boss is sick. This is bad. He's the shit. He can't be sick.

Houstatlantavegas.

killerforhire @ 2009-11-20T00:19:00

2009-11-20T05:19:58Z

I've been in Miami since Saturday night. I've had so much Cuban food. I got really tan at South Beach. A guy hit on me on Sunday but nothing could come out of it because I don't speak Spanish. I visited the University of Miami on Monday. It's a beautiful campus. I met a gay Cuban at Florida International University's Biscayne Bay Campus. He took Julie and I to Transit Lounge and then some bar in Coconut Grove. We were such a big hit, everybody loved us. The DJ even played "The Next Episode" as the last song in our honor. Everybody kept shouting at us to leave L.A. and move to Miami. After these past few days, I just might.

I want to spend my 20s in Miami.

killerforhire @ 2009-11-13T19:00:00

2009-11-14T03:00:51Z

I fly to Miami tomorrow. I'm listening to a bunch music I loved when I was fifteen.

killerforhire @ 2009-11-11T01:13:00

2009-11-11T09:14:11Z

My name is Jessica and I have fallen victim to machismo.

killerforhire @ 2009-11-07T20:04:00

2009-11-08T04:05:41Z

Van Nuys City Hall. I'm there 18 hours a week and I swear I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

killerforhire @ 2009-11-04T21:06:00

2009-11-05T05:07:01Z

If your breath didn't literally smell like shit today... Damn.

Why do I have thing for urban planners?

killerforhire @ 2009-11-01T11:24:00

2009-11-01T19:24:56Z

Ken is sleeping on my futon right now. His eyes aren't all the way closed so it looks funny and scary at the same time. My legs hurt. It feels like I've been awake since the dawn of time.

killerforhire @ 2009-10-26T12:52:00

2009-10-26T19:53:49Z

I'm going to be Lindsay Lohan for Halloween. Ken is going to be Samantha Ronson. Just like Lindsam, only one of us is actually gay. Our Laker plans got canceled, but we'll get Blackjack Tacos instead. This weekend is going to be a good weekend.

killerforhire @ 2009-10-21T19:59:00

2009-10-22T02:59:48Z

I've got a bad case of the Dodger blues.

killerforhire @ 2009-10-16T21:50:00

2009-10-17T04:50:43Z

Fake 'em like a good one
But I call 'em like I see 'em
I know what you are

killerforhire @ 2009-10-12T16:40:00

2009-10-12T23:42:54Z

I don't know how I feel about press conferences, but I'm leaning towards the negative. It's ridiculous to go from laughing heartily to game face for the NBC, ABC, Telemundo, etc. etc. The plus is that I shook Eric Garcetti's hand and that Antonio Villaraigosa is really short.

killerforhire @ 2009-10-08T21:26:00

2009-10-09T04:29:34Z

Oh, how I love my Los Angeles Dodgers. Had so much fun at the game today. Until Saturday's game, I am an Angels fan so that they beat Red Sox Nation.

I wish I could go to the maize maze with Ken this weekend but I seem to have this impression that I have obligations.

Les Savy Fav said it best...

Obligations are so passé

killerforhire @ 2009-10-04T20:36:00

2009-10-05T03:49:02Z

see me age nineteen with some dumb haircut from 1960 moving to New York sit and live with my friends there we're all taking the same steps

killerforhire @ 2009-10-02T19:27:00

2009-10-03T02:28:35Z

Dear Eric Garcetti,

Get in my pants.